Whoa...where did THAT come from?

In typical Mom fashion, I faced everything that was being thrown at me with a smile on my face and assuring my family that all would be ok. But you know what? Deep inside of me it wasn't ok and it was bubbling to get out. I did my best to contain it, I tried...I really did.

The days after the surgery are a blur. I wanted to return to normal, problem was...I didn't know what "normal" was anymore. I finally got a phone call that my first visit with the oncologist would be on August 15. Until that time, I could not answer questions that anyone asked me. I know that people want to be helpful but the worse thing you can do for a sick person is to ask them question after question. Will you have to have chemo? Probably so. How long will you have to have chemo? Don't know yet, will have to wait to see IF I have to have chemo. Will you get sick during the chemo? Don't know that I have to have it and haven't had it yet so I don't know. I finally quit answering the phone. I could still feel IT bubbling inside me.

My first visit I came with my husband and sister in tow. Strange thing...I had no questions...I just wanted answers. I could not have asked for a nicer oncologist. He told me everything about my tumor. Less than 1 cm, one positive node, estrogen positive, progesterone positive and HER 2 negative. In the case of breast cancer, positive is good except for HER 2 and there you want to be a BIG negative. Whew...so far so good!

Because I had lost weight and was so tiny he decided that I needed a surgically placed port in my chest. That procedure was scheduled for August 20th...the 21st anniversary of my father's death. First chemo...August 22. He explained what drugs I would receive and for how long, gave me lots to read and told me to call if I needed anything.

Ok...now I had the battle plan, it was time for me to put the "Rachael" touch on it. I read everything I could find on the subject of breast cancer, breast cancer and chemo, surviving chemo. I figured out what I needed to do to prepare my body for battle!

I listened to my body and ate and drank what it told me and when it told me. Avocados and water were the big cravings, juicy fruit and salads. I super-hydrated my body. Come on chemo...I am ready.

I arrived for my first chemo. They drew blood, administered the anti-nausea drugs, IV benedryl and the BIG GUNS...adryamaycin and cytoxen. I felt good...the whole process took about 2 hours and I was fine! I got home and still I felt fine. Dinner time and they asked me what I wanted....Taco Bell! What, they said? You don't like Mexican Food. I laughed and said I guess I do now...that is what my body wants. It later dawned on me that the "spice" was probably what I needed to help fight off the nausea.

The next week I had to return for blood tests. I was one of the unfortunate ones that has their white count whacked out with chemo. I had to get a shot everyday for 5 days. Good news was that I "automatically" qualified for one time only shot the day after my next chemo. Who makes up these stupid rules anyway?

I decided I needed to get some clothes that had easy access to my port, did not show the lack of cleavage and was loose fitting so that I did not feel the need to wear my falsies. JC Penney's here I come...salespersons beware. Yes...it did...It bubbled to the top and spilled out all over the JC Penney salesperson. Bless her heart, to this day she probably doesn't realize what hit her!